If I Die Young
by 13Kali
Summary: Lily Luna Potter is recovering from her dad's death five years ago. With Lily being in her 5th year at Hogwarts, James in his 7th, and Al in his 6th, Lily is desperate for answers. And she won't stop until she gets them. But when she stumbles about something that could change the fate of everyone around her, will she succumb to the want to get her dad back? Or will her family fall?
1. Not the Same

My mum clutches the same old handkerchief, with the same old look on her face.

She squeezes us especially tight, and tries to smile through the tears that cloud her eyes.

Her brown eyes, that Al had inherited from her.

James, Merlin knows where he got his bright blue eyes.

And my brilliant green eyes, my dad's eyes.

The eyes that my mum could no longer look into without choking back a sob.

So we didn't make eye contact, and on the rare occasions that we did, it was in all seriousness.

I had grown to hate my eyes, after all they caused my mum so much pain.

Even my brothers found it difficult to look into my eyes, yet they did, with words that my eyes are different than dads.

Being fourteen and having gone through everything that I have, well let's just say I'm not normal.

I still crush over boys, and gossip with my best friend/cousin Roxanne, I still prank people (especially my annoying brothers), I still party like hell, play Quidditch, listen to loud overdramatic music, hang out with my friends, and go shopping.

But while I may seem like your average 15 year old, I'm not.

Roxanne knows this.

We made a promise to always keep each other's secrets when we were kids, and we've never broken that promise.

Sure, my whole family knows I'm damaged, somewhat broken inside.

Yet I put up my cocky arrogance, my bitchy remarks, my awesome comebacks, and people think that nothing's wrong.  
People are easy to fool, especially when they're your family and they believe you can do no wrong.

Roxanne was the only one who seen through this façade, sure that was my personality, but honestly it didn't reflect what I felt inside.

I felt broken, something that people had used, over and over again until they're broken.

Way beyond repair.

Roxanne knew this because I let my walls down when she was near, I let her see that this girl, who lost her dad, and desperately needed him back.

To everyone else I showed them a grown up girl, who had lost her dad, but could manage without him.

Who could manage without any of them.

But that was the farthest thing from the truth.

I needed all of them.

Especially my dad, but there was no way to get him back, no matter how much I wanted him.

"Lils." Roxanne says breaking me out of my strance.

I stand there startled for a minute.

My whole family's eyes were on me, minus everyone who had grown up and didn't go to Hogwarts, and their parents.

"Are you okay?" Aunt Hermione asks looking into my eyes.

I nod my head my eyes flashing back and forth trying to break away.

Aunt Hermione apprehensively sighs and examines me.  
"Everything will be okay." Aunt Hermione reassures me and I nod my head as she hugs me tightly.

Aunt Hermione in a way, was my second mum.

My mum, in the first few weeks that followed my dad's death wasn't there.

Physically of course she was upstairs always in her room that she used to share with my dad, crying and screaming and throwing things about.

For a whole month my mum stayed like that refusing to eat meals, and never talking.

I could clearly remember one night when I was so fed up with it.

_I was ten years old, tears smeared across my face._

_ I missed my father horribly, but I needed my mum._

_Aunt Hermione had cooked us all a lovely meal since my mum was in no shape to even be let near a weapon or something hot._

_ As we sat at the dinner table, Rose, Hugo, Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione, Teddy, James, Al, and I we could hear my mum throwing stuff and her screams that filled the house._

_We had to put a muffling charm on the entire house, because of an incident once when a neighbor had heard and feared the worst._

_ We had the whole Ministry at our house wands at the ready and it took an awful long while to assure them that it was just my mum._

_"Why take him? Why us? No!" My mum sobs and I hear the unmistable sound of glass shattering against the slate tile in her room._

_ I slammed my fist hard down on the table causing everyone to jump._

_My brothers, my cousins, and my aunt and uncle stared at me like I had just shot someone._

_ "I can't take it anymore!" I exclaim bursting into tears._

_James and Al both look at the ceiling, and Teddy sighs and covers his face with his hands._

_ Rose and Hugo swallow hard and look around softly._

_Uncle Ron looks at me up and down and realizes that there's just no point in ruffling my hair and telling me that dad's still here._

_ Uncle Hermione was the one who spoke up, softly examining me._

_"Lily, sweetheart, just give her time. She'll come around." My Aunt Hermione says and I shake my head._

_ "No." I refuse simply and she moves to hug me, to try to comfort me like I wish my mum did._

_I step away from her and sprint up the stairs, my head pounding, my palms sweaty, trying to suppress the memories of my dad in this house._

_ He was everywhere, damn why did it have to be so hard._

_I stop by my parents bedroom door, but considering that I only had mum left, I guess I might as well call it mum's room._

_ I pound on the door, but my mum could not hear._

_Judging by the sounds of every single piece of furniture and all the objects in her room breaking, and the loud sobs, it was going to be a very hard night._

_ I backed away from the door slowly and do what my dad taught me._

_He taught me everything._

_ I could never not refer to something without the thought of my dad creeping into my mind._

_I use all my force and kick the door in, and I watch as it hangs off its hinges swinging wide open, a massive chunk of it collapsing to the floor._

_ I see my mum curled up in a ball on floor across from me, her eyes red and swollen, her back pressed up against the wall._

_"Mum?" I ask her and she doesn't meet my eye._

_ "Mum!" I shriek at her but she wasn't there._

_I stepped inside the room seeing the full destruction for myself._

_ The four poster bed columns were broken and hanging off the bed swinging, pictures of us all were shattered, everything on my mum's side of the bed was laying at a broken heap at my feet._

_The walls had large cracks in it, and there was nothing left in this room untouched._

_ Except, perhaps my dad's side of the bed._

_His nightstand still held his glasses and wand from which we took from the funeral, a picture of us all, and a photo album consisting of pictures of everyone my parents had ever knew._

_ Tears fill my eyes, and bile rises up in my throat._

_"Mum?" I ask her and she clutches her chest rocking back and forth on her heels._

_ "Mum!" I shriek at her so loud I can feel the walls vibrate.  
My mum sits there unfazed, her normally young face smeared with tears, mascara stains running down her face, shadows under her eyes, her face holding a certain haunting look to it._

_ I walk over to where my mum is and a lump rises in my throat._

_"Mum! Please?" I beg._

_ I had just lost my dad, I couldn't lose my mum too._

_My mum doesn't even look up._

_ "Mum! Please! I need you!" I shriek at her but nothing comes to her._

_Tears still come, and she shakes barely able to breathe._

_ "Mum! Get up! Please! Don't leave me! Look at me! Mum please look at me!" I shriek and then I burst into tears._

_James, and Uncle Ron come into the room._

_ James helps me out and I smash my face to his chest burying myself._

_"No." I plead tears streaming my face._

_ James tries to comfort me but I can't._

_There's only one person who can comfort me and he's not here._

_ And he's never coming back._

My Aunt Hermione was the first one who comforted me, she was the one that held me against her and let me cry endlessly with me.

She was the one who stroked my hair, comforted me and when the nightmares flooded my brain, she was the one who laid next to me at night whispering comforting words.

They had stayed at my house for a year, then when my mum had finally come back, not fully, but mostly, she demanded that we need our own personal space.

My Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron didn't fully believe she was completely alright so they moved next door, claiming that they just wanted to feel closer to him.

"I'm going." I say clenching my fists as my Uncle Ron sighs.

Uncle George returns from putting all of our trunks onto the train and looks at me.

Roxanne gives her best smile after I leave, and I hear my mum say to my brothers, "Keep each other safe. Especially his Lily."

His Lily?  
What did that mean?  
Did my mum only look at me and think that I was only dad's?  
Did she no longer look at me as her daughter?

I try to clear my thoughts as I sit down in my usual train compartment.

I lean my head against the window and use my long fierce red straight hair that falls to just below my ribs as a curtain.

My mum is seen clutching a handkerchief, tears flooding over, Uncle Ron sighs and looks at her obviously not knowing what to do, and Aunt Hermione who sighs softly and hugs my mum.

That's when the train pulls away from the station and my fifth year faces me.

**Hey guys; So let me know what you think about this? Any suggestions? And no this is not an angst story I don't do those. Anyway as always review!**


	2. Roxanne Weasley

"Lils." Roxanne says giving me a light shove in my arm.

"Hmm?" I ask groaning as I wake up my body sore from leaning against the window.

"We're almost here. The trolley's coming around for the last time." Al says and I groan and if I had a pillow I'd throw it at him.

"Is that all you think about?" I ask as I remove my face from the window.

"He's Al. Of course that's all he thinks about, since he can't score himself a girlfriend." Scorp says laughing.

"Git." Al says and Scorp smirks and runs his hands through his blonde hair.

"Yeah at least I'm hot." Scorp says and I roll my eyes.

"Whatever Scor." Al says and Scorp gives him a slight glare.

I look out the window; the passing countryside was gone replaced with darkness.

"Lils?" Roxanne asks and I continue to look out the window.  
Maybe it was because darkness was all I felt anymore, or maybe it was because that's what I am, darkness.

"Lils?" Roxanne asks nearly shouting my name.

"Yeah?" I ask snapping out of it as I turn to look towards Rox.

"Are you okay?" Rox asks and I look her in the eye then I look towards my brother.

"Al get out." Rox snaps and he glares.

"No." Al replies and Rox shoots him a warning look.

"Come on, mate. Let's go see if the trolley's close." Scorp says and Al sighs.

"You'll be alright?" Al asks turning to me.

"Yeah." I say and Al nods his head then I mutter under my breath, "Maybe."

Al nods his head and leaves the compartment along with Scorp who smiles at me.

"Spill it Lils." Rox says and I sigh.

"It's just me being childish." I say and Rox rolls her eyes and mutters a curse word under her breath.

"Lils missing your dad isn't childish." Rox says and I sigh.

"Yeah it is." I say.

How could it not be childish to want your dad to hold you?  
To tell you everything was going to be alright?  
"Lilsy, it's not. Listen I know that I don't know or can't even begin to understand how you feel, but I'm here for you. Remember? Blood sisters forever." Rox says holding out her hand.

And I remember the day we made that promise.

_"Ow." I had muttered my four year old face twisting up into one of horror._

_ My long fierce red hair that hung straight and just above my ribs, matched the color of my blood perfectly._

_I was on a high rock climbing wall and I had fallen right onto a broken glass bottle, my hand breaking the fall._

_ "Lils!" Rox shouts as I scoot away from the broken glass._

_Rox jumps from where she was and slips on the rocks that have become slippery since the cold rain, and cuts the palm of her left hand as she tries to cling on, but instead she ends up falling to the ground in a heap._

_ "Roxy!" I shriek for my best friend and she stands up and walks over to me._

_"Lils you okay?" Rox asks._

_ I shake my head and she looks at my hand._

_My hand was covered in blood and there were a few pieces of broken glass left on it._

_ "I'll make you feel better." Roxy promises her long blonde hair covered in blood as she pushes it out of her face with her left hand._

_Roxy grabs onto the piece of glass sticking out and yanks it with all of her strength in her four year old bones and it comes out in her hands and she throws it across and it hits the rock wall shattering into a million pieces._

_ "Ow!" I exclaim and Roxy looks at my hand._

_"I'm gonna go get your dad." Roxy mutters starting to get up._

_ "No! I'll be okay." I say smiling as my hand gushes more blood._

_"Okay. Lils?" Roxy asks her face lighting up as she looks around._

_ "Yeah Roxy?" I ask her smiling._

_"Let's be best friends forever." Roxy grins._

_ "We are." I say grinning back.  
"No like this." Roxy says and she grabs my hand._

_ Roxy grabs my right hand, the one gushing blood, with her left and she grins.  
"Close our eyes and make a promise." Roxy says grinning._

_ I grin back and we both giggle and close our eyes._

_"You start." Roxy says._

_ "I promise to tell you everything." I say giggling._

_"I promise to always have your back." Roxy says._

_ "I promise to prank my brothers with you." I say giggling and Roxy giggles._

_"To hold you when you need me." Roxy says._

_ "To always be there." I say._

_"To never leave." Roxy says._

_ "To always love each other." Roxy says giggling even harder._

_"To always be best friends." I say._

_ "No. Sisters." Roxy says and I smile widely._

_"Deal." I say._

_ "Deal." Roxy says._

_ "We have to use magic, to make it real." Roxy says._

_ "Daddy says I can't do magic when I'm not home." I say and Roxy shakes her head._

_"To always be bad asses." Roxy adds and I open my eyes and giggle with her, her face spread out into a smirk._

_ "Where'd you hear that?" I ask her smiling widely._

_"Daddy." Roxy says and I smirk._

_ I shrug and we close our eyes again._

_"Make it real." Roxy and I say together then we scrunch up our noses and squeeze our eyes shut in effort and I open my eyes to see a shining green light encircle our hands._

_ "Sisters?" Roxy asks._

_"Sisters." I say as the green light fades and disappears._

We kept all our promise from that day.

"I miss him. I miss him so much." I say as tears start to cloud my eyes.

But I hadn't cried.

Not since that night when I went into my mum's room.

I finally understood that while I may be the youngest I had to be strong, so no.

I was not going to cry.

Not for anything.

Rox wraps me into a hug and sighs as we break apart.

"I know." Rox says smiling slightly at me.

"I wish I could bring him back here. Back to me." I mutter and Rox looks at me strangely.

"Maybe you can." Rox says.

"What?" I ask.

"Well, we can do lots of things." Rox says and I shake my head.

"Not like this." I say.

"Lils we're the most powerful witches of our age." Rox says.

"Rox nothing can bring back the dead!" I shout at her.

"Lils we can do it! Your dad's not any ordinary wizard anyway. There has to be a way." Rox says and tears threaten to spill over.

"Rox, he's dead. He's dead and he's never coming back." I say and my face twists up and Rox puts her hands on my shoulders.

"Lily, please. Calm down. Let's at least look it up." Rox says and I shake my head.

"I don't know." I say simply.

"We can do this, together." Roxy says and I nod my head.

"Together." I say and we grin widely.

I wasn't going to get my hopes up.

There was no record of anyone bringing back the dead unless they had used some sort of dark magic or a resurrection stone.

But who knows what you can do, when you're Harry Potter's daughter.

And Roxanne Weasley's best friend.

And the most powerful witch of your age.

"I'm gonna go get a drink from the trolley." Rox says leaving me alone.

"Okay." I say sighing as I sit back down.

The train skitters to a halt and I look around.

It's too early; we can't possibly be here yet.

I look outside, and in the darkness I see a silvery glint.

I look up at the sky and that's what startles me.

The Dark Mark is on the sky just cast and gleaming wildly, and psychotically.

There it is the skull and the snake and I stumble back as the train's power cuts off.

And we're all left in darkness.

**Hey guys; so how'd you like it? It's got some interesting stuff right? Lol anyway so if you love Lily check out my other stories and let me know what you think! I bet you'll love them! Thanks for the review but I'd def like to get more! Anyway as always review.**


	3. Hogwarts

My heart beats faster in my chest, and I place my hand on the rapidly cooling window.

"Lily?" Scorpius asks walking into the room and my breath hitches in my throat.

"What's out there?" I ask and he sighs and looks at me, his eyes looking slightly terrified.

"Death Eaters, possibly even Voldemort. Al sent me to make sure you were alright." Scorpius says and I nod, a certain awkwardness filling the air.

So Scorpius wasn't actually worried about me, he was just following orders my brother had sent.

That was like him.

"Well I'm fine. Thanks for your concern." I snap crossing my arms and then I add,"Why don't you go back to your girlfriend Scorpius? I'm sure princess Rosie misses you dearly."

His face falls and I hear a banging sound from nearby and see a flashing green light and he strides over to the window.

"It's not going to open." I snap and he gives me a look.

"Got any other ideas then?" He asks and I sigh.

"Yeah I do." I say climbing up onto the seat and raising my leg, kicking it far back, then using all of my force to kick it forward.

It's funny, dad taught me that too.

I swing my legs out the window and sigh looking back at Scorpius.

"Coming?" I ask and he nods and I slide out the window, drawing my wand out of my pocket as I land on the ground.

Scorpius comes down after me, and then we take off running into the night.

"I thought that you didn't hate Rose anymore." Scor says and I roll my eyes.

We run faster, my feet planting against the ground hard and firm, and I could see the lights of Hogwarts in the near distance.

"What gave you the impression I hate her?" I ask, my voice icy and cold, my green eyes focused ahead.

"So what... Are you jealous of her?" Scorpius asks and I shoot him a look.

We may both be Slytherins, but we weren't always this cold with each other.

"A little." I admit as our feet pound into the ground, finally reaching the gates of Hogwarts.

"You know I would've given up anything for you, I loved you, Red. I still do." Scorpius says grabbing me by my hand and bringing me closer to him.

"I can't do that to Rose, Scor. What about that do you not understand?" I ask and he sighs heavily.

"We could be so happy together. I know you're only fifteen but we could be the happiest." Scor says and I shake my head, my red straight and long hair blowing in the wind and my green eyes staring intensely at him.

"I can't Scor." I whisper as he leans in closer, our faces only inches apart.

"Yes you can. Don't think about it, red. Just do." He whispers and then he fiercely presses his lips to mine, his hands trailing up and down my back and I lean into the gate.

I wrap my legs around his hips and he puts his hands on my ass, holding me up.

I moan as he presses himself against me, his lips trailing to my chin, down my neck, then he reaches my shirt and starts to take it off his lips on the top of my chest and his teeth grazing the skin and I moan as I press myself against him.

He pulls away for a second as we hear a loud banging sound and then he puts his back on the gate and I stand opposite of him, his hands groping everywhere he can.

"I'm going to break up with Rose, red. I love you not her. Never her." He says and I pull away from him, my feet planting back on the ground.

"Scorpius, no." I say and he shakes his head and grabs at my hand.

"Let me prove that I love you, red. Let me take you to that party at the Shrieking Shack." Scorpius says and I shake my head.

"No. Roxy and I are going. It's a massive hookup party anyway." I say and he grabs my hand and drags me back to him.

"And what would be so bad about us hooking up?" He asks and I yank my hand out of his.

"Because, Scorpius. Rose is already planning your first time tonight. Have fun." I say coldly as I walk away, and he calls after me but I step inside the gates.

I don't bother going to the Great Hall, instead I walk to the dungeons, stepping inside my common room and sitting on the small couch, my gaze fixated on the fire.

After a while the pounding footsteps of people sound and I sigh, everyone had made it back, then I had to my dorm.

I walk to my bed, perching there and I look around me.

Dominique, Roxanne, and I share this dormitory, and I didn't feel like facing them right now.

I head to the bathroom, the party didn't start till past eleven.

I splash water on my face, trying to wash off the feelings of regret, guilt, and the feeling that it was right.

Because Scorpius and I weren't right.

Scorpius and Rose were.

I head back to my bed, I hadn't slept in a while, so I curl up, and close my eyes.

But sleep doesn't come.

It never really does.

After a while the sounds of people snickering, planning pranks, and talking about the train fills the dorm, and I sigh and pretend to sleep as Dominique and Roxanne enter.

"So what are you going to wear to the party?" Roxanne asks and Dominique smiles.

"This really short silver strapless dress. It's so cute. And so slutty." Dom says and Roxanne laughs.

"Dom you bad bad girl." Roxanne jokes and Dom laughs.

"Sue me. Let's find out what our dear cousin is wearing." Dom says and then I feel them both jump on my bed.

"Lilsy?" Rox says and I roll over, sitting up and giving them a look.

"Get out of my bed." I snap and Dom giggles and smacks my arm.

"What's up with her?" I ask and Rox shakes her head.

"Merlin who knows." Rox responds and I sigh.

"What's wrong Lils?" Dom asks giggling still.

"I kissed him, Scorpius." I say my voice drifting off and Roxanne smirks and Dominique erupts in a fit of giggles.

"Good. Merlin knows golden girl Rosie Posie doesn't deserve him." Roxanne says and Dom laughs even harder.

"Roxy, c'mon. Rose loves him." I say and Roxanne shakes her head.

"Yes Lils, but Scorpius doesn't love her." Dom says still giggling and I shake my head.

"But Rose loves him." I repeat, but they just shake their heads.

"Lils, no. Scorpius loves you, and you love him." Roxanne says, and Dom after finally collecting herself sighs.

"Yeah, I heard he's breaking up with Rosie tonight." Dom says and Roxanne raises an eyebrow.

"It's not going to change anything." I say.

"Merlin Lils what are you afraid of?" Roxanne asks and I sigh.

"My dad would've never approved of him." I mutter and Roxanne groans as does Dom.

"Look Lilsy, your dad would want you to be happy. So be fucking happy." Roxanne says and I sigh.

"I can't." I mutter and Dom punches me in my boob.

"Bloody hell what was that for?" I snap and she giggles and falls off the bed, and Rox and I laugh while I block any more punches with my arm.

"Merlin Lilsy you gotta lighten up." Dom giggles and I groan.

"Did she turn the water into rum again?" I ask and Roxy nods.

"Yep, she had ten glasses." Roxy says and I laugh.

"Oh joy, Dom the party's not for three hours." I say and she giggles.

"I'm already ready." She says and I roll my eyes and shake my head.

Roxy helps her up and helps her sit down again shaking her head at her.

"Alright Dom, you're gonna take a shower and walk this off. What all do you want to wear?" I ask and she giggles even harder.

"My Slytherin thong and my silver sparkly bra, with my dress." Dom says and I groan as I toss the thong, then strapless bra to her, before I find her slutty sweetheart neckline silver dress and I toss it at her.

"There go get in the shower." I snap, and after a while of her not moving I push her into the bathroom then collapse on my bed.

"Oh no, Lily. You have to help me and pick out what you want to wear." Roxy says and I sigh as she pulls me to my feet.

After a while Roxanne and I had picked out our outfits.

Mine a sparkly green strapless sweetheart neckline, with an emerald embroidered bra and the silver slytherin thong.

Roxanne's a shimmering gold dress with thin straps and a matching bra, along with a slytheirn silver thong.

I sigh; Dom was getting her makeup done on her bed by Roxanne, and I was sitting in my white soft bathrobe, waxing.

"Shit." I mutter and I sigh as I look around me, then I slip into my clothes.

My eyes stare back at me, sad and depressed and I sigh as I bring my finger to my lips, brushing it across and remembering the way Scor kissed me.

How right it felt.

I open my eyes, seeing the familiar green spark that I haven't seen since the last time Scor and I kissed.

No.

I can't do this.

I have to get over him.

Tonight's a hooking up party, and I have to get over him.

Before I hurt Princess Rosie Posie.

Like I'd honestly care about that.

But he should be with her.

He deserves a slightly sane life, and she can maybe give him better than I can.

I zip up the back of my dress, remembering his touch as his hands went up and down the length of me.

I step into my shoes and sigh, running my fingers through my straight voluminous red rib length hair.

I need to be with someone else tonight.

Scor should be with someone who isn't a total lost cause, so he should probably just get over Rose and I.

Rose is an insane bitch, and I'm a damaged bitch.

Not very good choices.

"Lily Luna get out here! I have to do your makeup!" Rox announces clapping her hands together as I open the door and she sighs when she sees the expression on my face.

"What's wrong, Lils?" She asks striding forward to stand in front of me along with Dom.

"I love him." I say, not thinking before the words leave my mouth and Rox sighs heavily as Dom goes into the bathroom grabbing a tissue.

Rox hugs me tightly to her and sighs.

"Then be with him, Lils." She says and I sigh.

"I can't. I'm damaged. Look at me Rox. My dad is dead and I can't even get over it." I say and Rox sighs and looks at me.

"It takes time to get better, Lils. The pain is never truly going to go away." She says and I sigh, sucking in a breath and letting out a low hiccup as Dom hands me a tissue.

"I miss him, Roxy. I miss my dad, so much. He would never approve of Scor. And I miss Scor so much, Roxy, Dom. It feels so right when he touches me, or when we kiss. It's like that's how it's supposed to be. It feels perfect." I say and Roxy sighs and runs her hands throughout her hair.

She puts her hands on my shoulders as Dom sighs and glances at me.

"Your dad is gone, Lils. He's dead. I know that we're going to look for a way to bring him back but he would want you to be happy. Lils he would want you to love Scor. To have a life with him." Roxy says and I sigh.

"Yeah, you deserve to be happy, Lils." Dom says and I sigh.

"I can't." I say and Rox sighs heavily.

"Listen to me Lily Luna Potter I'm going to do your fucking makeup and you're going to look drop dead gorgeous, so you're going to hang out with Scorpius this whole party, let things go crazy, Lils. Now sit your ass down and let me do your makeup. And stop whining." Rox says smiling jokingly and I smirk back and I sit on my bed as the makeup bag flies toward her.

Rox can make everything better, she has a way of doing that.

Her jokes and her swearing, we're twins on my better days.

Dom's sort of the slightly sane one, always there to comfort, but rarely give advice.

She doesn't want to give the wrong advice, and mess things up completely.

Rox she gives advice always, she's always reading some sort of magazine on fashion, beauty trends, and guys.

That's probably why her closet is fully stocked, as is her makeup collection, and her brain is full of advice for almost every situation.

After a while I look in the mirror.

I'm stunned by the red haired beauty staring back at me, her eyes framed with gorgeous thick lashes, and smokey eye makeup, her brows defined, a light splash of color on her tan cheeks, her body looking slender and sexy in the dress, her legs looking long, shiny and soft, her hair perfect, straight, and long, her dull green eyes staring back, but looking alive against the colors on her face and skin.

I walk to the common room as Rox and Dom get caught up in conversation.

I stumble on my silver pumps, and adjust the seemingly short upper thigh length of my dress, Rox had bought if for me as a birthday present.

"Whoa Potter, you don't look so good." A boy says, his face framed by dark brown hair, his black eyes staring back at me.

"Yeah, I don't feel it." I say as I sit down on the cold couch, the dungeon air feeling comforting, but making me shiver.

"Here take this." He says pulling out a pill bottle from his leather jacket, dumping five pills onto his hand.

"I'll be fine." I say and he shakes his head.

"C'mon, it's just nerves. It's just over the counter anyway, harmless." He says and I look at him my eyes flashing as they meet his.

"You don't have to." I say and he shrugs simply, his lips forming a small smile.

"I want to. C'mon it'll make you feel better." He says and I sigh, reluctantly stretching out my hand and he dumps the pills into my hands, then he makes a glass of water appear in his hand as well, and he sits behind me.

I dump all five pills into my mouth and he hands me the water and I swallow them all, wiping my mouth off and setting the cup down and he takes it and I watch as it shatters into a million pieces on the cool tile floor.

"Impressive." He says and I smile slightly.

"I try." I say and he smirks.

"I bet. I'm Jonah by the way, Jonah Zabini." He says and I smile.

"Nice to meet you Jonah by the way." I say and he chuckles.

"So does Lily Potter have a date to the party tonight?" He asks and I shake my head, feeling the effects of the pills running through me.

"No. Does Jonah by the way Zabini have a date?" I ask and he smirks.

"No. Wanna be my date?" He asks and I sigh.

"Why not." I say and he takes my hand.

"C'mon then." He says and he leads me out.

The feeling of his hand against mine didn't feel right.

It didn't feel like Scor.

Because it wasn't.

**Hey guys; So I know it's been a really really long time since I've updated this, and a lot of things have changed over that time. This story is going to be different than any of the other fanfics I've wrote before, and there are some bad things that are going to happen to Lily. The next chapter is going to be so different than anything I've ever wrote, so there will be warnings for that in that chapter. I also want to say that this story is not exactly my main focus right now because I'm really focusing on Lily Potter & The Wizarding Games, I really love writing that and this is just for some of the things I think of when waiting for enough people to review. For me to honestly try to update at least weekly it's going to take at least five reviews. I love to hear what people think, and things like that. So anyway as always review!**


	4. Shrieking Shack

**Warning; This chapter contains upsetting themes and events.**

I grind against Jonah, and he grins and I feel his arms moving up and down me, groping every inch of me, focusing on some specific areas.

I was flying.

My head was pounding from the loud music and I was running a fever from the number of people in the room.

The shrieking shack had been expanded, until it was huge.

A mansion on the inside and a small shack on the outside.

There was also a few spare rooms in it, reserved for these hookup parties.

"You're sexy. Need a drink beautiful?" He asks and I giggle.

I lick my lips and smirk, "Yeah, I do Jonah. Get me something strong."

He smirks and goes to the drink table as I throw the red plastic cup on the ground, crunching it under my feet.

I had at least ten shots, and I felt fucking high.

I was so drunk it didn't really matter.

"Lily!" Scor shouts and I whip around and smile wrapping my arm around him.

"Hey Scor, how's Princess Rosie?" I ask giggling and Jonah hands me my cup full of shots.

"I'm going to go get myself a drink, and then how bout we get a room?" Jonah asks and I giggle.

"Sounds good." I say and he kisses my neck and I giggle profusely, then he's off.

"I don't know. I left her. We need to talk." Scor says and I giggle as I start to grind against him.

"Do we now?" I ask and he grabs me by the arm and hauls me into one of the spare rooms.

"You're no fun." I complain as I down the cup of shots and toss it to the floor lying on the bed and arching my back.

"Merlin how much have you had to drink?" Scor asks and I giggle.

"Way too much. Does that make you want to save me, Scor?" I ask giggling and he sits down on the foot of the bed, his hand on mine.

"Red, look. I really do love you. I want to be with you. Let me love you like you deserve." He says and I roll my eyes sinking back into the bed.

"Go be with princess Rosie." I say and he shakes his head.

"I want you." He says and I giggle.

"Yeah right. No one does." I say giggling for no reason as I lie back, stretching and arching my back.

"Are you high? And drunk?" He asks smelling the alcohol on my breath.

"I don't know, want a taste?" I ask and he sighs.

"We need to get you to madam pomfreys." He says and I shake my head.

"Jonah's looking for me." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Jonah's looking for sex, you should stay away from him." Scor says and I arch an eyebrow giggling profusely.

I lean in close, way too drunk, I was never going to remember this, but I lean in close to Scorp, my lips dragging across his ear, "Who says I'm not wanting the same."

Scor pulls back putting his hands on my arms and studying me carefully, "You're scaring me, Lily."

"Oh it's Lily now is it?" I ask giggling and he raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms, "Why don't you and Rosie go fulfill her plans, and me and Jonah will have some fun."

"I can't let you do that." Scor says and I raise an eyebrow, looking around.

"Oh, are you my daddy? Oh that's right he's dead. Try and stop me." I say and I cross the room to the door, the length of my dress riding far up and I throw my head over my shoulder and throw Scor a look.

I put my hand on the door handle and blow him a kiss, winking at him before I turn it.

It doesn't turn though and I look back towards Scor.

"Are you doing this? Let me out! This is bloody kidnapping!" I shout at him and he rises to his feet and drags me to the bed.

"Honestly, Lily, you would think I was trying to shag you. I'm doing this to protect you, Jonah's a prat, and he's already got Natalie Heatherson pregnant." Scor says and I roll my eyes.

"You have no bloody right! Let me out or I'll call my brothers." I threaten and he arcs an eyebrow.

"They'd just tie you to the bed and agree with me. Stay in here, I'm going to get you some water." Scor says striding to the door.

I glare at him as I stumble over my heels as I quickly stride to the door.

"Scorpius bloody Malfoy you let me out now or I'll never forgive you! You'll be fucking dead to me." I snap and his head snaps up to meet my eyes.

"I'm sorry Lily, I'm doing this to protect you. I'll be back, to take you to your dorm." He says and I glare as I watch him walk out.

He slams the door shut behind him and I hear a dry sob echoing from the other side of the door.

I grab a vase and throw it at the door, pissed off and drunk as hell I screech at the top of my lungs, "I hate you, Malfoy! Go shag Princess Rosie you obnoxious, selfish, unwanted, dick!"

I glare as I hear stomping of feet from outside the door and I try to get out.

"Let me out!" I slur and I turn around.

There was a window behind me, and I race towards it, without even thinking I run through the glass, forgetting that I'm on the invisible second story.

I scream as the glass cuts through me, my body slamming to the ground, and my beautiful dress ripping and becoming smeared with blood.

"Scor." I groan and I roll over, and stand, tripping in my heels.

I start to cry, my makeup becoming smeared and mascara and eyeliner smearing under my eyes, making me look drunk and slutty.

I ruffle my hair and sigh, that prat was not going to ruin my night.

I go straight back inside, where Jonah is, standing in the middle of the dance floor, where couples are going heavy and hard, grinding and enjoying the feeling of sweaty bodies and the stench of alcohol tainting the air.

Jonah starts to snog a girl, a blonde from Hufflepuff, who's practically shoving her boobs in his face and her hands are on the waistband of his pants.

"Jonah." I slur and he looks at me then the blonde girl.

He whispers something in her ear and then walks to me as the world starts to spin.

"Lily? Sorry about that, that slut just doesn't know when to stop." He says and if I hadn't been drunk I would've noticed the wink she sent him as she went into a room upstairs to wait for him.

"It's okay. I'm back, and ready to have fun." I say giggling as he puts his hands on my ass, pulling me to him, smashing his lips to mine and our tongues tangling together.

"You wanna get a room?" He asks and I nod and giggle as he puts his hand on my ass yet again, and starts leading me out.

"Let's go to your dorm." I say and he raises an eyebrow.

"The dorm I share with Albus?" He asks and I giggle profusely as we walk out, a dizzy sensation spreading over me.

"C'mon it'll be fun." I say and he smirks as the world spins faster than ever and everything goes black.

* * *

I open my eyes to see the bright light shining in from the dorm, my head pounding and I rush to the bathroom, clapping a hand from my mouth as I puke up the remainder of alcohol in my system.

I hear a knock on the bathroom door and before I can say anything it opens.

Scor's standing there, his blonde hair messy and his grey eyes looking around, adjusting to the light, dressed in only his boxers and looking at me confused.

"Lily, why are you in the boys dormitory? And why are you wearing that shirt?" He says and I turn to face him as I flush the toilet.

"Bloody hell. What happened to you?" He asks and I look around.

I was dressed in my knickers, my bra, and a loose white shirt that wasn't even buttoned.

"I dunno." I slur, my head pounding and my stomach jolting.

He kneels down beside me and lifts me up, before he sets me down in front of the mirror as he hangs on to my arm to keep me steady.

I look in the mirror, I looked so horribly drunk and hungover.

My forehead was covered in sweat, my straight hair clung to my arms, and the sides of my face, my eyes were lined with smeared mascara, and there was some blood across my cheek and in my hair.

I look farther, my chest was also covered in blood, my arms were covered in lacerations, as were my legs, my stomach looked awful the blood smeared across my abs, and my knickers were somewhat soaked in blood.

"Bloody hell." I mutter and Scor looks to me.

"Your brothers are going to wake up any minute. Do you remember anything?" He asks locking the door, and helping me sit on the toilet.

"Jonah, he took me back here I think? And you... Did we fight? Merlin did we have sex?" I ask and he raises an eyebrow.

"Care for me to fill you in?" He asks and I nod, even though the gesture makes the headache worse.

"You were drunk and acting super slutty, so I looked you in a room in the Shrieking Shack, I was getting to get you something to help you sober up, and when I came back the window was shattered and you were gone. I talked to Noah Zabini, and he said that he saw you and Jonah leaving together." Scor says and I look around me.

"I think I woke up in his bed." I say and Scor looks at me.

"Are you bloody serious? I'll kill the bastard." Scor says and I shake my head.

"Scor don't. Please stay with me?" I ask him and he looks at me, then quickly nods.

"Do you remember anything about you and Jonah?" Scor asks and I sigh as I try to think, my head pounding.

"He... He kept giving me drinks. And before we left he gave me a pill. He said it was for nerves." I say my voice shaking on the last sentence and tears starting to run down my face.

"Merlin, Lils. How many pills did he give you?" Scor asks and I sigh heavily as I try to think.

"Four, five, maybe six." I say and Scor sighs and pulls me close to him.

I start to silently cry in his shoulder, and he rubs my back and pulls back to look at me.

"He took advantage of me." I say and Scor sighs.

"I"m so sorry, Red." He says and he wipes away a few of the tears with his thumb.

"I feel so disgusting. I need a shower. I don't want him all over me." I say and Scor nods.

"Take a shower in here, I'll get Roxanne to bring you some clothes, I'll stay here the whole time." He promises me and I look at him.

"Scor, I promised myself that I would be with someone that night. But it wasn't consensual. I swear it, I was saving myself for..." I say my voice trailing off as I look at the ground.

He puts his thumb under my chin and forces my eyes to meet his, "Who were you saving yourself for, Red?"

I blush and advert my eyes to just above his head, then I speak in a low and shaky tone, "You."

He sighs heavily and pulls me close to him, and he falls to the ground, his back resting up against the wall as he holds me in a tight embrace.

"I'll kill him. I'll kill him for doing this to you." Scor says and I cry.

"I-I was drugged and drunk I didn't want it. I wanted you." I say and he nods and strokes my hair gently as he kisses my forehead gently.

"It'll be alright, it was rape, Red. We can get him in big trouble for this." Scor says and I nod.

I smile slightly for the first time today and he smiles back, "Promise?"

He holds out his pinky and intertwines mine with his, "Promise."

He helps me stand and offers me a towel as he switches on the shower.

I felt numb.

This couldn't have happened.

How could I have been so foolish as to take pills from a boy who had a reputation around Hogwarts for one night stands.

Scor was also known for having sex with more than half of the schools population of girls, but he told me that he was drunk, and he had liked each and every one of them.

He told me that he had only had a few one night stands since his fifth year though, he told me that's when he fell in love with me.

That's also when I had a boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, but it didn't last, we wanted different things, and by the time we had split up Scor and Rose were in a relationship.

Rose said she loves him.

Scor says he can't stand her.

He says she's a nice girl (when she wants to be), and smart, but he doesn't love her.

She keeps on waiting for him to have sex with her, but he can't.

"I'll turn my head." Scor says and I sigh as my fingers brush against my skin.

I throw off the dirty shirt, looking at it in disgust.

I start to reach back to undo my bra, but it hurts far too much, every inch of my body is sore and hurts.

I look back at Scor.

"Scor it hurts too much. Can you undo it?" I ask him and he nods quickly, and I can tell he's fighting temptation.

I'd imagined him doing this before, unclothing me, but I'd never imagined it would be in this situation, and I'm sure he felt the same.

He unhooks my bra and tosses it to the floor and I nod, my back turned to him, and he turns around again, and I quickly strip off my knickers and step into the shower.

The water was scalding hot, burning my sore and lacerated flesh, and I quickly wash myself, the numb feeling inside of me confused me.

Shouldn't I feel something?  
Shouldn't I be angry?

Shouldn't I be sad?

Shouldn't I be screaming my lungs off?

It was too soon, my brain kept on telling me.

As soon as I'm finished my clothes and makeup bag are waiting on the bathroom counter, Scor quickly turns his head as I cover myself quickly with the towel.

I pat myself dry, quickly stepping into my knickers, and I look back at him.

He nods and helps me hook my bra on, all of my clothes clean.

I quickly slide on my green collared shirt, with sparkly details on the collar, and then I slide my black skirt on, which was becoming far too short on me.

Scor waves his wand and my hair instantly dries, falling in perfect straight locks.

I look at him and I sorely wave my wand, making my makeup do itself.

As soon as I'm finished Scor looks at me, his eyes filled with pain and his fists clenched.

"Roxanne has the clothes, she says it's proof. Everyone has been told to use the other years bathrooms." Scor says and I nod.

I hear a knocking at the door and Scor nods to me and I stand there as I slip on my silver flats, and I hear a booming, sneering voice, "C'mon Malfoy, how long does it take for you to do your hair?"

"Jonah." I whisper and Scor opens the door quickly.

"Finally." Jonah says looking around, not seeing that Scor is getting angrier by the minute, then he catches sight of me.

He smirks and winks and I look at him in disgust, wrinkling my nose as he chuckles, "Having a go with her as well. She's a fun one. This is hers."

Scor catches my dress and slams it down on the counter.

"Zabini give me one reason not to beat the shit out of you." Scor snaps and Jonah chuckles.

"Aw, look at that, Malfoy sticking up for the not so innocent Potter. You should be thanking me, she'll be just like Natalie Heatherson now. Known as a school slut. C'mon Malfoy, thank me, I deflowered the littlest Potter. Now you can have a go with her." Jonah sneers and Scor raises his fist and I grab his arm.

"Scor, I can stick up for myself." I say, preventing him from punching the laughing-in-hysterics Jonah.

Scor moves to my side, covering half of my body and he glares at Jonah.

"What was that, Jonah?" I ask my hand already knowing what I'm about to do.

"C'mon, Potter. Tell me you didn't enjoy last night. Tell me you didn't like it. You didn't want it. You clearly did." He sneers and I slap him across the face, the sound of impact echoing.

"You drugged me, you got me drunk, and you... You took advantage of me. I didn't want it, I didn't like it, and I will make you pay." I snap, and he opens his mouth.

"Who do you think you are, Potter? I did you a favor, it's an honor to sleep with me. You're lucky you lost it to someone who knows what he's doing." Jonah snaps and I glare.

"You have done me no favors. It's a disgrace to even be seen with you, let alone disgusting and filthy to be raped by you." I snap and I slap Jonah again, just as hard, on the other cheek.

He says no words, instead he slaps me so hard that I have to grab the counter to keep from falling, and I watch as Scor punches him right in his eyes, then his nose.

"You ever touch her again, I truly will murder you. My grandfather is quite good at torture curses." Scor snaps and Jonah sneers.

"This isn't over. Not even close." He sneers and then he looks at me, "You tell anyone else, and I'll slit your brothers throats in the middle of the night, then Malfoy's."

And then he's gone.

**Hey guys; So that was chapter four. I did say it was going to be very different than my other fanfictions, and it is. Here are the answers to your questions; Diyame; Lily is in pain from her father's death and she's also very confused about her feelings about Scor. She's not insane, she's hurt, and she needs someone there for her. It's not a stupid idea, loads of people have done this sort of thing, only mine's different, and customized by me. She should be with Scor, but she's scared. And she doesn't want to hurt Rose, even though she doesn't particularly like her. Guest; I've read the book several times, I know what they look like according to the book. If you've never read a fanfiction where their looks are different, then you must not read much. In my stories and in several others, Lily has her father's green eyes. I don't know why that's such a big deal. LoonyLoopyLuna6; I don't want to completely abandon this story, it's mainly for when not enough people have reviewed for me to update LP&TWG. I only write Lily/Scor, even if it's not in the beginning they will have a relationship. Maria5798; I do agree, most people do put on a facade of happiness, I know I have before. Thank you, I try to do my best to make the characters seem real, and for them to be people that you can relate to as much as possible. I don't think that Lily was the perfect little daughter, I think that there's a story behind that, and I'm not sure I liked the way J.K. Rowling ended the book. There was so much left unexplained and it is a terrific book, I just wish there was more to the story, which is mainly why I write fanfiction. There has to be something to this little happy forever that J.K. Rowling created. Five reviews gets you another chapter, and I'm currently feeling quite inspired to write this fanfiction. Hmmm... We'll see. I don't have a plot for this, it's my spontaneous decisions, as was Lily Potter A New Beginning. Also if you guys want me to add to Lily Potter And the Beginning of the Third War, leave a review and let me know. Anyway as always review! **


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